Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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