With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
