Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
