I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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