i barfeds in our rink
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
