Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
