We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
