I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
