I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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