i don't like sucking hair
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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