Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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