420 ftw
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
