It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
