I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
