i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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