I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize