and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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