I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
