you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i out mim tonsoeep
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