this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
