Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
