Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize