Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
