I need to stop coming to work sober
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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