After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
