Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
