Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize