I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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