I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
