I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
