Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
