Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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