My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
