dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
