literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
