She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i will never coherently bang her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize