I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize