PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
