Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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