Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
