I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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