I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
