Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
