I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
