I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
