I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
