did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
