I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize