Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
