I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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