it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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