Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
