Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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