What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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