you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
