Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize