mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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