Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Small penises have feelings too.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sext me about skeletons
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
