I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
