i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
