so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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