And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
