Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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