You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
