so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
