After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is my gift to your gina
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
