When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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