your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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