I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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