So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
