and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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