i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
