I think i peed on brittanys purse
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
